Those were the days!

Beaches, BBQ’s, and outdoor fun of Summer are now making way for school buses and textbooks. Feels kind of melancholy, doesn’t it? These last days of August I find myself reminiscing over the quickly-fading Summer, as well as replaying memories of years gone by. It was during a recent visit from my cousin which got me thinking “Those were the days!”…

Stephen was in town for The Woods Hole film festival. This is the festivals’ 25th year which included over 180 feature and short films. One of the shorts titled  “Window Dressing” is a creative short which my cousin Directed and Produced. He was in town for the screening premier and we decided to connect for lunch at “pie in the sky” – a neat little cafe/bakery in Woods Hole. As we sat in that creative landscape, our conversation quickly turned to “family”…

Growing up, there was always a get together, celebration or holiday which brought the Girouard clan (over 20 cousins) together. Our fathers came from a large family (7 boys and a girl) and grew up along the train tracks in North Cambridge (just outside Boston). Their dad had spent several years in the seminary before landing a job as a baker at Hathaways Bakery (where he met my ‘future-nana’). Grandpa would later drive cabs and take on odd jobs to help support the growing family (imagine eight kids – whoah! Can you say “Eight is Enough“?).

If you’re like me, you sometimes ponder what it was like when our parents grew up. As Stephen and I wondered aloud, we were sure there were some fascinating stories hidden away in the past – I mean, 7 boys and a girl…under one roof?

The conversation got us thinking about our own early years spent with the extended family. We remembered the family picnics “in the country” at “papas house”. Papa Carchia was our great grandfather – the Italian-immigrant patriarch who kept a vast garden like he was back in the old country. He lived “walden style” on 32 acres of land in Lexington – now a much developed suburb of Boston. But back in the 60’s and 70’s Papas house in the woods (he built it himself) would pass for “country” for most city dwellers. We would pick wild blueberries (they were everywhere!), chew rhubarb and swim in the above-ground pool. There were lots of games for me and my fleet of cousins (shock-alert: before ‘screens’ we actually spent whole days running around at play). Those were good times, we agreed. We remember watching old video footage – 8mm black and white type – but we couldn’t figure out where it might be…

As we time travelled back to the present, Stephen posed a couple questions which really made me think. He was interested in reconnecting to his father through memories of the past. You see, in the late 80s, Stephen had lost his father (my Dads brother) in a helicopter crash. It was pretty big news around Boston (story here). I remember this tragedy vividly and can only imagine how difficult this was for Stephen and the rest of his family….

I could sense our visit to the past had awakened something for Stephen. He was searching for a way to reconnect. It made me realize I sometimes take my own living father for granted. I can call or visit whenever I like. If I want to know what it was like growing up, I can call and ask him right now (which, incidentally I DID so I could confirm some of the details in this story – thanks DAD!).

The sad truth is there are only three remaining siblings of my Father’s once-large family. The stories and connections are growing dimmer. It’s up to those of us living to help keep the memories alive. How? By asking questions and sharing stories like this one.

I guess the point of this post is to inspire you to seek out someone in your life who can help you connect with the past – not just to re-live or recapture time gone by, but to gain more clarity about the present. Ask questions. Listen. We (myself included) can too easily get distracted and caught in the go-go of today. We lose the significance of where we come from. This can’t bring back someone we’ve lost, but it can help create a bridge between the past, present and future.

Is there a favorite story or characteristic about your ancestors you’d like to share? Let us all know by leaving a comment below. And thanks for keeping their memories alive.

Sincere thanks for your continued support and encouragement…